Sunday, October 30, 2005

the willing and the accomplice: a prologue

as usual, a vague response was expected. it follows then that what must be done
to fully understand the point(s) of what is trying to manifest should also be expected.

the only basis that a conclusion can be drawn on is tone and while the willing
wants to believe the tone to be laced with sweetness there are moments

when just the opposite appears to be the case. of course, there is slight joking:
this is to be expected. normally, the willing feels like her actions should be defended

to the point of finding the loophole, an escape from situations that leave her inadvertently responsible for the emotions of others but today she sees no reason to defend herself,

and, on the contrary, it appears that the willing deems it unnecessary. the willing
sees no reason why she should not love the accomplice, being that she has all along

and while this conversation seems to be leading up to the sex issue, physicality means much more than that to the willing. she apologizes if there has been a misunderstanding.

the willing is searching for absolute companionship, while sex, _________ the meaning of it. That being said, there is a somber cloud that haunts the willing, a melancholy

so great that it burrows back behind the liver (R.E. The Anatomy of Melancholy -Burton) where no corporeal answer can reach. so it is. but what the willing has learned

is that it is better to attempt those things that can be achieved and in order to do so
one must change approach and expectation. the willing has known for many years

that the accomplice was the closest she would ever come to finding someone with a similar problem and that because of this similarity they are inevitability stuck playing

the same card-game with one another without ever being able to declare a winner.
this the willing is sure of. but as far as everything else goes, the willing cannot tell

if the actuality of existence has anything but slight meaning and yet she has resigned herself to follow the popular formula of living, which requires degrees and money

as well as future stability. it is here that the lives of the willing and the accomplice cross and pose practical problems. in the corporeal world there are problems and to reiterate

a point made by the accomplice, the only solution is and can be time. beyond
that the willing does not know how to make any situation they experience together

more natural and at times even, she feels that it is only natural that they should collide with one another for brief moments in order to escape the pollution and taint that stains

mundane living-relationships. the willing has learned that absolute companionship
can and must exist sometimes without encouragement, that it must essentially

prevail a midst decisions that are made naively and with haste. it is here
that the willing finds comfort and hopes to eventually reach the accomplice.

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