Thursday, January 26, 2006

this story

this is a story about not having anything to say.

it is a story that only exists because it can only be imagined.

it is one that is told from behind a door off its hinge; a door which is partially open.

this story takes place under the night sky and because it does it is big and everlasting.

its features are nameless and its purpose undefined.

the nature of this story is conditional and is reluctant to accept acceptance.

it tells itself out of loathing and fear and cares not who responds.

the fact is that this story is just like any other.

it is composed in the aristotelian fashion, but its parts never remain static long enough for copies to be made.

this story is telling itself because it needs help.

it needs help because it cries in the seat at the dentist office, because dying is just like that: alone, with your mouth unable to communicate anything but a gagged utterance of emotion.

it is in this situation that the story's autonomy is taken away and all the story is left with is the ability to think without action, and it does because it has to, because that is all that is left.

this story is about all that is left, about the other stories that it didn't tell and didn't even bother to read.

it is about being unoriginal.

this story used to be about an origin.

it used to be interested in where it came from and why it was meaningful that the story was always made to cry as it looked out of certain windows as it rode down certain roads, why it was important to not only make documentation but to keep that documentation on hand at all times in case someone should stop the story and ask why it was always spotted on busy streets up against the wall of the tallest building on the block.

it is the story's responsibility to say that it only wants to know its smallness, that it wants to be next to something that will make it feel invisible.

this story wants to feel invisible not because it feels badly for itself but because invisibility affords those that can stand it a perspective, not the perspective or a better perspective, just a nondescript one.

a perspective is important because it one that belongs to the story alone.

this story is inherently solipsistic.

it can not believe in other stories because by doing so it relinquishes its own importance, and right now its own importance is all that it has.

this story is about not wanting to be forgotten.

though it will be, this story believes it is important to want to not be forgotten.