Today
A series of catching up
and people who make
something small feel big.
Unsmooth stones create the floor,
enclosed by picture books
and other stories told with sight.
Unbearing anticipation slows
passing over steps,
placement oblong and specified.
Waist lines in foreign tongues
tucked under, then displayed.
We are working on a story much bigger
involving double doors and old consistencies
We are enlightened by the passing storm
and car rides across the state,
repeating as a manner of keeping
and people who make
something small feel big.
Unsmooth stones create the floor,
enclosed by picture books
and other stories told with sight.
Unbearing anticipation slows
passing over steps,
placement oblong and specified.
Waist lines in foreign tongues
tucked under, then displayed.
We are working on a story much bigger
involving double doors and old consistencies
We are enlightened by the passing storm
and car rides across the state,
repeating as a manner of keeping
posted by jackie clark at 4:27 PM
3 Comments:
i don't know about the second 'bigger' it seems like 'larger' would be the right sound to bounce off the rest of the clause.
i like the un- repetition, but then 'under' is weird, do you even need it?
there are five real adjectives in this poem. are you trying to set a record?
Also, you need to think of titles for their poems, it's like if poems had an artificial number of meanings and you picked one less than anyone else.
Otherwise it's pretty fabulous, I thought about dancing for most of it
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